See you at the crossroads, so you won’t be lonely…..

1 12 2009

Vancouver, ohhhhhh Vancouver.  At this moment I have a love hate relationship with this city.  It partly stems from my recent trip to Toronto.  When I left Toronto in 1997 I left behind friends that I grew up with throughout most of my life.  We shared elementary school and high school memories.  I have a deep bond with these guys/girls that’s really hard to find somewhere else. 

I’ve moved around a lot in my life, different cities, different country, different culture, different people and different experiences.  All were good there were some experiences that were bad but all in all I don’t regret a thing.  This past August was my 6 year anniversary from the day I moved to Vancouver.  It’s been a really good 6years.  Met some great people, began organizing the Filipino community and I received the blessing of being a father to a beautiful little girl.  I’d say my 6 year stint here in Vancouver has been amazing.

Going back to Toronto has opened my eyes.  Opened my eyes to what I feel is home.  Before going on my vacation there, I was afraid of what I was going to experience in regards to the city.  I was afraid that Toronto would be an over the top city completely resembling the big American Cities I’ve lived in.  To tell you the truth, the city has become beautiful.  I’ve missed a lot since I’ve moved and even since the last time I visited in 2000.  When I got off the plane it totally felt like I was home.  I haven’t had this feeling in over 12 years.  And when that feeling came back, a part of me was left in Toronto. 

When I came back, I was lucky to have my daughter with me the very next day.  Most people would have to adjust to the time difference when they come back to Vancouver, but usually within’ a few days things are back to normal.  Not for me.  The return to Vancouver for me has been a bit of a tough situation.  I love the folks that I’m aquainted to here, they are a great bunch of people but I’m missing the bond that I share with my friends back in Toronto.  My daughter has been a huge factor in easing this longing to be back in Toronto.  I would never want to pull her away from her amazing Mother and family. 

As the title of this blog reads, “See you at the crossroads”.  In life we make sacrifices to benefit those you love and in the long run yourself.  I will continue to make sacrifices that is in the best interest of my daughter, no questions asked.  Maybe when she’s older I can consider moving back to Toronto for a couple years and she can join me. 

Through my experiences living in Toronto, The Bay Area and Vancouver… I’ve realized that my heart is truly in Toronto.  You know that song by Tony Bennett, “I left my heart in San Francisco”.  I feel the same way about Toronto. 

Vancouver, you’ve been a good city to me.  There are a lot of wack people in this city but I’ve learned to screen people with a fine tooth comb which is reflected in the beautiful and amazing kasamas and kapatids that I’ve had the honour of knowing, working with, and being friends with.  But still there’s a looming feeling of lonliness that only my daughter has the cure for.  She’s my anchor, my foundation.

So for anyone reading this, thinking that I’m going to move out of Vancouver.  Not just yet… I’ll be here for a while.  And maybe at one point with the ok from Kaya’s mom.  Kaya and I could have bigger adventures outside of Vancouver… maybe one day I can show her how we do back in the Tdot. 

 

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